Patrick And I Have A Very Serious Talk
Patrick sat me down late last night and said Jason we
must have a talk. (I was thinking wow this is going to be it, he is
finally going to give in) These are not the exact words of the
conversation but I’m stated them to you the best that I can recall.
“Jason
let me start by saying that you are really a special guy the deserves
the best that life has to offer to you” (I thinking okay, this is good
so far) “I’m so sorry about Tim, Kate, and the whole big mess that you
found yourself in the middle of” “But I must tell you that I’m not gay”
But Patrick you let me sleep in your bed and you even let me hold you.
“Jason I know and maybe that was wrong, but I felt you needed to feel
some security in your life, I never really meant to lead you on” But
you even let me touch you and I know you knew. “I know and you are
right I did know but I let you continue” Why did you let me continue
Pat? “Jason I don’t really know how to answer that” (I’m thinking but I
can’t come to a logical answer in my head either.) “Jason I just feel
like we can be very good friends, I think we are good for each other in
many ways, just probably not in all the ways that you want or need
right now” Patrick, I’m sorry I got the wrong idea. “Don’t worry about
it Jason, I’ll still be here for you” (This is good in a way but far
from what I had been expecting him to say. “You are a really cool guy
and I like the manner in which you handle yourself” What do you mean
Patrick? “It’s just how you take the bad and somehow make good out of
everything that seems to happen to you” Patrick you are good for me and
that’s all I need. “Jason, I can be your friend but let’s be honest
here, a friend is just a start but that’s really not all that you need”
(I lowered my head I wanted to cry but I did not want to show
him that I was feeling weak, but somehow I knew he was very aware of
this)
“Jason I know you are hurting right now, I want you to look me in the eye”
(I didn’t think I could look him in the eye but somehow I did)
“I
just want you to know that when you do find that man that you so
desperately seek that he will be one lucky guy, I just hope that when
you do find him and you will, that you will still be my friend and that
you will never forget about me” Patrick I could never just forget about
you!!
Patrick, can we just stop talking right now? “Yes Jason,
it’s okay I think I’ve said most everything I needed to tell you right
now”
So I stayed on the couch and slept for a couple of hours, and then I got up and started to write all this down.
Posted at 02:37 pm by energyball
