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Friday, November 03, 2006
Eagerness to learn English
okay so it was kinda crazy...i don't know.i'm lost.. im
here facing the computer for almost three hours now..i don't have any
idea of what am i doing..i feel sick.. i feel lost..i just, i just,
iust...that's it..
i hate school.. so disgusting...........whaaa.. it's like a combination
or a crossbreed between bulldog and shitzu... add those two words
together and the sum is bullshit.. pretty amazing..
my literature class is soo sooo soo somewhat lost in track. okay so its
objective is for the students to learn and appreciate
literature..but we were bombared with lots of poetry.. it really
sucks.. i wasn't prepared for those Archaic English used by from out of
nowhere prominent poets during the time not even my grandparents were
born.. atleast the other readings and articles did save my disgust..it
reversed the first impression i have.
so i just go with the flow and ask stupid questions and give horrible
comments..lucky me the teacher is from a modern day groups of
literature enthusiats. he was able to appreciate my cool
ideas.. ( hahaha).. we have so much fun.. the class is
better now. i mean great..we have lots of activities that really
interests our age. of course related to the subject matter. a lively
class discussion.. the thing is, because my craziness i was easily
recognized by the teacher ask ask to recite and say something. we will
be having several presentations, film showings, analysis of modern
literature and lots of group activities..
just yesterday our Korean classmates presented background of
their own literature.. it was preety amazing.. with all those poems,
stories and the alphabet that they have.we were even taught a bit of
some few Korean languages, the proper pronounciation of words and
how they write. they talk too fast that you
wouldn't even notice the variations of sound and the stresses on every
word. their's is kinda hard to learn compared to other countries which
uses the same letters and way of writing that we have.. spanish,
italian, german are easier.. it would take me ages to learn their
language..
but they're nice people..they are respectful and culture-oriented. no
matter where their go, there is always a distinction you can see
between them and the others..well of course not physically.. they have
this bowing of heads and everything.. you can see their eagerness to
learn English well and other things foreign to them.. they're friendly
and easy to get along with.
so that's how my opinion to certain things changed. at first i don't
like literature but then I started to appreciate it..life's like that..
full of changes.. nothing is constant.. never believe the constant that
your science and math teachers are telling you.. carpe diem! seize the
day.. that was from the movie dead poets society. another word of my
mouth for almost i don't know how long..from my literature class.
Posted at 01:28 pm by energyball
Permalink
Monday, October 30, 2006
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings.
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Perhaps
it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or
maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way,
the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A
few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the basement shack with a
steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other.
What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those
lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you
about it.
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the
band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net.
Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous
signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should
be in the broadcasting business.
He was telling whomever he was
talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and
stopped to listen to what he had to say.
"Well, Tom, it sure
sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but
it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much.
Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy
hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter's
dance recital. He continued, "Let me tell you something Tom, something
that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities."
And
that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles."
"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average
person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some
live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years. Now
then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the
number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire
lifetime.
"No, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important
part." "It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all
this in any detail"; he went on, "and by that time I had lived through
over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived
to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy."
"So
I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended
up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took
them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right
here in the sack next to my gear. Every Saturday since then, I have
taken one marble out and thrown it away." "I found that by watching the
marbles diminish, I focus more on the really important things in life."
There
is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help
get your priorities straight." "Now let me tell you one last thing
before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast.
This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I
figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a
little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more
time."
"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time
with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. 75
year Old Man, this is K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!"
You
could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I
guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the
antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams
to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs
and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the
kids to breakfast." "What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh,
nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent Saturday
together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're
out? I need to buy some marbles...
Take care |
Posted at 11:30 am by energyball
Permalink
| I love reading the morning papers on the internet. You can read so many and get different views across the country.
Here's a few quotes that I liked:
House
speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) dismissed talks of a sour outlook for
the GOP and cited signs of a strong economy. "Things are looking pretty
good, and I don't think anybody would really want to change that at
this time".
Hey Dennis, pretty good, for who, the average wage earner, or for Exxon.
While
the energy giant's quarterly profit again hit the $10 billion mark,
yes, that is BILLION, how well did the average guy do this past quarter.
Has anyone been able to buy that dream car with all the money that were saving at the pump.
Yes Dennis, your right the economy is strong, but for who.
Speaking
of Hastert, one of his lieutenants, Rep. Phil English (R-Pa.) said he
did not think that Congress is likely to shift, "I DON'T THINK THAT IS
WARRANTED YET".
What does not warranted yet mean, is he telling us, wait, were not through screwing you yet.
English also said, "Democrats seem unable to unite behind a common theme".
Phil, how about "We need change", or, "we need to clean house", is that united enough for you.
A
few days ago, I posted a blog about getting a new slogan for the
Republicans, I have two for them, at one time New York had 3 major
league ball teams, the Yankees, the Giants and my beloved Brooklyn
Dodgers, the Giants and the Dodgers, when ever they lost a series would
say
(the fans that is)
WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR
OR
WE WERE ROBBED
Again,
this is going to be one of the most important elections of our time,
please don't waste your vote, and be sure to take a friend with you,
even if you have to promise to have sex with him afterward.
Take care guys, and be kind to each other. |
Posted at 11:21 am by energyball
Permalink
Sunday, October 15, 2006
| Been
up all night with Patrick, he finally went to sleep. Yesterday in the
afternoon I was trying to leave for the apartment with Patrick begging
me not to go alone. I told Patrick it would be okay that I would
probably not be long.
Got to the apartment and listened outside
the door to hear any noise from inside, didn’t hear anything so I
thought it would be okay for me to go in. Go in the door everything was
a big mess, my clothes all over the place, the door to Tim’s room is
shut.
I started to pick up my stuff, I brought a couple of
garbage bags with me, all of the sudden I hear a noise coming from
Tim’s room (well what used to be our room) so I cracked the door to see
what was going on. Tim was laying on the bed, looks like he had lost 20
pounds, with several needles laying on the floor and on the nightstand
next to his bed. He was laughing and said “Hello Bro” I was shocked to
say the least!
Tim I thought you were just smoking that crap I didn’t know you were slamming as well?
“What’s
it any of your business Jason, I have nothing to live for anyway” You
have lot’s to live for Tim “Yea, like what you left me, I didn’t leave
you” I left Tim because I could not take the drugs and now I come in
and find you like this? “Jason it’s all your fault I could have stopped
just for you” Everything that goes wrong in you life is my fault! “Just
a minute Jason come over here (I was scared but felt I must go closer
to see what he wanted, maybe he was at last crying out for help) So I
went over next to him.
He grabbed me by the neck and pulled me
down with him on the bed, I tried to fight him but he was too strong I
finally got away and he jumped up and came after me then I kicked him
in that special place that will always bring a guy down to his knees.
He
was laying on the floor in a lot of pain (it’s not like me to do
something like this) “You hurt me Jason” You tried to hurt me Tim! “I
just wanted to be with you just one more time” I just came here to get
some of my clothes Tim. “I knew you were going to move in with him
(talking about Patrick I assume) Yes, I guess I am Tim “I need your
help Jason, please help get me off this shit” I don’t know what to do
for you anymore Tim “Well I need 300 bucks to help pay some bills” You
don’t need money to pay the bills Tim, everything here is paid to the
1st. What you really need 300 bucks for is more dope am I right or
wrong? He didn’t say anything so I knew it was true. I’m not giving you
anything Tim; if you need food go ask Kate if you can get her on the
phone because I cannot. “I’m not hungry Jason don’t you know anything
you dumb ass”
That’s it Tim lay here and die for all I care
I’m going to get my stuff now and if you touch me again I’m going to
call the cops.
So he sat down on the couch as I started to get
my stuff very fast grabbing my most favorite clothes and leaving the
rest behind. “Jason please don’t leave me, I love you more than him”
This isn’t love Tim you are using me, I’m done with you and Kate for
that matter. “I never give you up Jason, I know where you work and I
will find out where you live, you have not seen the last of me”
Whatever Tim, why don’t you just go and con someone else out of their
money so you can get some more dope. |
Posted at 02:39 pm by energyball
Permalink
Patrick And I Have A Very Serious Talk
Patrick sat me down late last night and said Jason we
must have a talk. (I was thinking wow this is going to be it, he is
finally going to give in) These are not the exact words of the
conversation but I’m stated them to you the best that I can recall.
“Jason
let me start by saying that you are really a special guy the deserves
the best that life has to offer to you” (I thinking okay, this is good
so far) “I’m so sorry about Tim, Kate, and the whole big mess that you
found yourself in the middle of” “But I must tell you that I’m not gay”
But Patrick you let me sleep in your bed and you even let me hold you.
“Jason I know and maybe that was wrong, but I felt you needed to feel
some security in your life, I never really meant to lead you on” But
you even let me touch you and I know you knew. “I know and you are
right I did know but I let you continue” Why did you let me continue
Pat? “Jason I don’t really know how to answer that” (I’m thinking but I
can’t come to a logical answer in my head either.) “Jason I just feel
like we can be very good friends, I think we are good for each other in
many ways, just probably not in all the ways that you want or need
right now” Patrick, I’m sorry I got the wrong idea. “Don’t worry about
it Jason, I’ll still be here for you” (This is good in a way but far
from what I had been expecting him to say. “You are a really cool guy
and I like the manner in which you handle yourself” What do you mean
Patrick? “It’s just how you take the bad and somehow make good out of
everything that seems to happen to you” Patrick you are good for me and
that’s all I need. “Jason, I can be your friend but let’s be honest
here, a friend is just a start but that’s really not all that you need”
(I lowered my head I wanted to cry but I did not want to show
him that I was feeling weak, but somehow I knew he was very aware of
this)
“Jason I know you are hurting right now, I want you to look me in the eye”
(I didn’t think I could look him in the eye but somehow I did)
“I
just want you to know that when you do find that man that you so
desperately seek that he will be one lucky guy, I just hope that when
you do find him and you will, that you will still be my friend and that
you will never forget about me” Patrick I could never just forget about
you!!
Patrick, can we just stop talking right now? “Yes Jason,
it’s okay I think I’ve said most everything I needed to tell you right
now”
So I stayed on the couch and slept for a couple of hours, and then I got up and started to write all this down.
Posted at 02:37 pm by energyball
Permalink
| I
hope Toad is ok. Hes done this before where he disappears but last time
he was gone this long he at least told us he was going to be gone. It
looks like he hasnt even logged on to his account for a couple weeks.
Hey Toad if your reading this please tell us youre ok? I was going to
make Toad-jokes but I dont even feel like doing that, I just want him
to say something so we know hes ok.
This might sound strange but
I been listening to the story about the little girls that were murdered
at that Amish schoolhouse in Pennsylvania today, and Im sort of angry
at God. I mean I know God doesnt have to explain himself to me, but
right now when I think about the little girls that were shot and also
about the ones that had to see it happen, things like "God has his
reasons" and "Its not for us to know" just dont do much for me.
I
know theres all kinds of horrible tragedies happening all over the
world every day, but sometimes a story like this one, that just seems
SO meaningless and vicious, I donno. I cant stop imagining how horrible
it was for those little girls. And I dont guess it makes much diff to
god that Im angry at him, but I am.
So I guess I hope God will give us some clue because right now Im feeling like hes missing too. |
Posted at 02:36 pm by energyball
Permalink
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